Powerful Stickum
by Germany11
Summary: Batman had been used to many things with his nightly routines. Fighting crime, stopping the Joker but what he didn't expect was to find himself stuck to the Joker's clothes. *One Shot, *silver age shenanigans, *Batman/Joker


Everything for Batman's nightly activities had started as they usually did that night. As always his life seemed to have the same formula: criminal breaks out of Arkham, commits a dastardly crime, and Batman comes to stop them. Villains would do their best to foil the caped crusaders fight for justice and Batman would win in foiling their plan. It was the norm and a familiarity that Gotham City had come to rely on. Whether it'd be a man of riddles laying puzzling traps, a woman with a cat motif robbing jewelry, an ex-psychiatrist obsessed with delivering a fearful dilemma to the innocents of Gotham, to the even worse a smiling jester others would find using non-humorous methods to bring smiles. It was all the same shtick that Batman in his never-ending quest to protect his city from those with malicious schemes.

Tonight, yes, tonight had started the same as it always did. Reports of the Ace of Knaves creating havoc in the dark streets. When the Bat-signal lit the sky and gave its beacon, all who would look up knew the Dark Knight would be coming for wrongdoers and everything seemed to be going as Gotham had planned. Batman would always answer the call for he was the symbol the people of Gotham needed.

The Harlequin of Hate's trail was effortless to follow to one of Gotham's art museums. Bystanders that were unfortunate enough to run into the clown now had ghastly smiles as a reminder of their misfortunes. The Joker had been a grievous thorn in the Bat of Gotham's side for a couple years now, treating the rooftops and alleyways of the city as the stage for their dance, with perilous jests that faced off against serious morality until there would be a victor. When the Clown Prince of Crime would leave his card then Batman would always be there to follow suit. It had always been that way and Batman was sure they would be doing the same routine for years to come. Very few of the villains he had encountered in his crime fighting career held a candle to the challenge as much as the Joker did.

 _Always expect the unexpected when it came down to the Joker._

Entering the museum, it didn't take long for the Dark Knight to take note of the now defaced art. Masterpieces that held history were now a mockery in their appearance; smiley faces and "HA HA" in green letters now on their canvas. It was a crime that held great weight on his heart. Batman had seen worse crimes perpetrated by criminals, but this museum had been a reminder of happier times, where his mother would take a young Bruce Wayne to become more cultured, as was expected of his class. As a young child he hadn't appreciated the art as he now did as an adult. Martha Wayne didn't let that perturb her actions of teaching her son about the history behind the paintings and it now had become a memory that Bruce held dear to his heart. This place felt as a photograph of childhood innocents where no gunshots could haunt his mind. Joker had chosen the wrong location for his devious endeavors and Batman would make sure he learned that.

Mirthful laughter down the hall gritted on Batman's ears and like a predator stalking his prey he kept to the shadows waiting for his moment to strike. When he found his vantage point on the second floor looking down on the room below, a batarang at the ready, he observed the Clown Prince of Crime. There he stood in the center of the room, holding a painting in hand as leaned against a statue. His infamous grin plastered on his face unaware of the Caped Crusader ready to disrupt his gleeful merriment. There were five goons in clown make up grafting more of the priceless paintings.

"We sure will make a steal tonight, won't we, boss?" A red headed henchmen committed the clown.

"Yeah, if we don't ruin the value of every painting here." A muscle bound man muttered under his breath.

"Never understood how people could even call any of this junk art." Another one of Joker's goons commented.

"Gentlemen," Joker spoke in a sing-song voice gaining the attention of his underlings in the room. "It's not about the profit. It's about the game. The fun is to best Gotham's finest as they run around like chickens with their heads cut off to try and stop this caper." He giggled as his men looked on perplexed.

"Boss, ya can't mean that-"

"Of course, I do… _hehe_ ," Joker twirled in his spot, painting in hand. "There's so much more fun to be had than getting rich. You've got to enjoy the smaller things in life," he held the painting under his arm as he lifted his hand to count his fingers with each remark he made. "Bringing smiles to the masses, a humorous joke, delicious sweets that will surely give you a cavity, razors in the said sweets for the kiddies, poison in the water supply, trampolines, birthday parties, exploding cakes and can't forget the best for last," his smirk turned into a malicious grin as his acidic eyes gleamed, placing a hand over his heart. "One day killing that sulking flying rodent, or better yet, finally getting a laugh out of him." His laughter bounced off the walls as he had to place his hands on his knees as he couldn't stand straight, almost dropping the painting he had in the process.

"The less I see of the Bat the better. Gotham would be a better place for business if he was never around." A blonde henchmen spoke and Joker's head snapped up to look at him, a frown now where a smile used to be. Quietly, he put down the painting next to the statue he was leaning against. The others backed away slowly and the man who had spoken gulped as he began to sweat under the intense gaze of the Clown Prince of Crime.

"What was that?" Joker hissed out through clenched teeth as he took a step closer to the now terrified man.

"Nothin', b-boss." He stuttered as he took a step back every time the clown moved forward.

Shaking his head, Joker kept his stare on the man before responding. "You say that Frankie, but I could have sworn you said that my city would be much better off without my playmate." His tone was venomous and deadly. The other men looked at the floor in silence as Joker now stood in front of the man who had misspoken gravely.

"I.. I didn't mean it like that boss," He pleaded with the madman. "We all know how much you enjoy having fun with him, after all. I was just saying that perhaps we'd make more money if there weren't no one to stop us."

Joker stayed silent for a moment looking into wide brown eyes from the man shaking like a leaf at the close proximity of the clown. A grin returned to the Joker's face as he gave a low chuckle. Clapping first then he placed his hands on the henchmen shoulder.

"Oh, Frankie. You should see your face! Like a deer in headlights, really now, you don't need to be so serious about everything." His voice feigned on pleasant.

Cringing when the clown touched him, Frankie looked up at the clown and gave a small shrug and a small smile.

"So, you're not mad boss?" He asked warily.

"Me? Of course not. No, no, no. I can always see the funny side of things," Without a moment's notice he pulled the man's face into his flower on his purple overcoat suit, green gas spewed from the flower as Joker venom was breathed in by the man who instantly started gut wrenching laughing. "See, Frankie there you go! Now you're laughing! That's the spirit." Joker pushed him away from him as he turned to head back to where he left his painting. The man laughed uncontrollably on the floor as his face twisted up into an inhuman smile, tears of pain streaming from his eyes as he couldn't breathe no matter how hard he tried until laughter and sound came no more. None of the other goons said a word to avoid a similar fate.

"Now, boys, let's get this game on the road." Joker spoke cheerfully as he picked up his painting.

A batarang flew from the second floor and hit a henchman on the head, knocking him off balance onto the ground beneath. That caught the attention of everyone in the room as they all looked up to see Batman gliding down and delivering a kick into another henchman's chest before rolling on with his momentum before getting to a standing position and facing his arch nemesis the Harlequin of Hate.

"Fun's over, Joker." Batman's deep threatening voice sent a chill to the other goons but only brought a huge smile to that chalk white face.

"Batsy, how wonderful for you to drop in. I was wondering when your pointy ears would show up. Do you love what I did to the place?" Joker gripped the painting in his hand as his acidic green eyes took in the imposing physique of Gotham's courageous protector.

"You're going back to Arkham to pay for your crimes." Narrowing his blue eyes at the jester as the remaining two goons started to surround him. The other two who were knocked on the ground still trying to gain their bearings back after the surprise impact that they endured.

"Haven't you _figured_ it out yet, Bats?" Joker waved a hand in the air as if he couldn't be bothered with whatever Batman had to say to him. "Arkham could _never_ hold the Clown Prince of Crime from playing games with you, the Dark Knight. Boys, why don't you show Bat here a good time?" He turned to run away and escape justice. Before Batman could pursue the giggling madman, one of Joker's men threw a punch at him.

Batman had been in plenty of scuffles to have perfected his moves over the years, with even tougher opponents than the men he was facing now. Dodging the punch aimed at his head was like second nature to him now, and it was way too easy to deliver an uppercut into that same goon's stomach, having him heave forward only to have his legs kicked from underneath him and having him crash onto the floor. The most muscular of the henchmen wielded a crowbar and it made its mark into Batman's back, which thanks to the Batsuit he was wearing cushioned what would be a crushing blow to his spine. Turning as the man tried to swing again, Batman grabbed the crowbar as it came down, pulling it out of the confused man's hand. Using what had been his opponent's weapon against him, the crowbar smacked with a crack into the bigger man's kneecap. A groan of pain and curse words left the man as he fell down to the floor. The other two men that Batman had knocked to the ground with his entrance now stood debating with themselves if this fight was worth it. It came down to what was more troubling, dealing with the Caped Crusader or the Ace of Knaves.

Choosing the former, they rushed at Batman together. One had managed to jump on the Dark Knight's back wrapping his arm around his neck to choke him as the other delivered a punch to his face. Their team effort would be in vain, however, as Batman fell back allowing his weight to knock the wind out of the man on his back and causing him to loosen his grip. As the one still standing was already in the process of trying to deliver another punch to the Caped Crusader, all Batman had to do to counter was kick his legs out and right into the man's stomach. The man gasped out and fell to his knees as Batman got back up to only punch the man hard enough to knock him unconscious. Turning he looked down at the one who had tried to attack him from behind trying to crawl away. One blow was all he needed to do to subdue the last remaining henchman. All that was left for Batman's night was capturing that dastardly villain the Joker.

Joker breathed heavily as he leaned against the wall in an alley near the art museum for a short break. Having escaped capture again was exhilarating and he was already planning his next caper. Besting the Dark Knight was his reason for living. Nothing brought a smile to his face more than their dance. Other crooks just couldn't fathom the high that came from nights of facing the brooding sourpuss that was his Bat. The only dance partner he would ever have or would ever want. All his schemes came down to one thing, garnering attention from the Caped Crusader. Batman never disappointed him as he always showed up to try and stop him.

Putting his hands in his pockets, with the painting he stole tucked in his overcoat, he whistled a merry tune to himself as he was ready for the stroll back to his base of operations. He was a tinge bit saddened that he didn't get to fight the "yin to his yang," or was it the other way around? He didn't really care, for both of them would always be connected to each other – always a part of each other's lives – and Joker would gladly without hesitation kill anyone who would oppose that. Sometimes, Joker wondered if he would ever get bored with their fun and games. Maybe Batman would one day cease to bring him any amusement to his day to day life. If that day happened then he would just have to cut his losses and have the curtain close on the show. Not that he expected that to happen any time soon. Quite on the contrary, he understood that Batsy and he were really the only two people in the world to exist. Everyone else was not even real, after all, and were just there for the short stays away from each other. How people even thought they were anything but was pitiful but hilarious at the same time. His Bat wanted citizens to save and Joker needed victims to keep the Dark Knight's interest in him aflame.

A cord wrapped around his ankle which caught the jester by surprise and as the force pulled back he fell and hit the concrete with an " _oof_." As he was dragged backwards, the painting in his overcoat digging into his orange dress shirt, he was only giddy that the joyous fun was not over just yet. Being pulled towards his playmate, as if fate or Gotham City itself declared for them to be together, he grinned and laughed. He turned his body awkwardly so that his flower could shoot acid which would eat through the cord with ease. Batsy really needed some new tricks, he thought to himself as he got back up to his feet and gave a wave to his one and only friend. Even if all he received back was a glare, it didn't stop Joker from feeling jubilation. Acidic green eyes darted to the Bats clenched fists that he was sure were aching to make contact with his grinning face. Sending a shiver of pleasure up his spine just thinking of his Bat's love taps.

"Tell me, Joker, did you honestly believe you'd be able to escape that easily?" Batman taunted him and Joker had to keep his composure as he always loved hearing the Dark Knight say his name in that menacing voice of his that only promised so much violence that they both craved.

" _Ho ho hehe_ … Dark Knight, I know you missed me, but we only just saw each other not that long ago. You don't want to be perceived as clingy do you?" He taunted him right back which only made the Bat's glare even more intimidating.

"The jig's up. No more games tonight." Batman moved closer to the clown and Joker could feel his heart racing with each step the Caped Crusader took towards him in excitement.

Pulling out his specially made playing cards (for just the right occasion) out of his purple and black stripped slacks, each side of what would normally be a harmless playing card was custom made to be razor sharp. Splaying cards between his fingers, he gave the most charming grin to the incensed Bat. "I do protest, Batsy, the night is still young, and there are places a performer such as myself have to be with people to see. I'm sure you understand if I take a rain check with going back to that grisly home away from home." Flinging card after card at the approaching Bat, a skill that he had learned to perfect for long nights to entertain his favorite audience member. However, it wasn't nearly as surprising when each card missed their mark as Batman dogged them and when close enough the blow to his face made the Clown Prince of Crime stumble back as laughter erupted from his chest.

The sting from the hit felt more like a loving caress to his skin. As his tongued slipped out of his mouth and licked his lip, the customary taste of copper was there. Another split lip to mark another wonderful night with his playmate; he wouldn't have it any other way. Blue eyes filled with rage stared deeply into his acidic green and he swore to himself that he could never be bored of such a sight. How he ever could think he could was a much bigger crime in his mind than those he had perpetrated. If he ever had a similar thought like that again then he was positive he would turn himself into Arkham Asylum himself for that would surely mean he was out of his mind. He lived for these moments and he lived for the Bat that brought out the merriment that he felt right now. The only way this could ever end is if Joker won their game and until then they would continue to play and have a grand ol' time. When black gloved hands gripped his over coat he could only throw his head back and laugh.

 _Got you now, silly little Bat. Walked right into my trap. That's what I love about you._

Batman lifted the Joker up as he slammed him right into the wall. Once, twice and a third time even harder, slamming not only Joker's back into the wall but having his head get hit as well. The laughing from the maniac that was ringing in his ears did not stop and Joker seemed much more amused than he had been in previous fights against him. That was when Batman's normal routine for his nightly activities had changed for when he tried to pull one of his hands from the purple over coat to deliver another blow to the clown that's when he had come to realize that he could not. His hands were stuck in their grip and as his blue eyes looked into green with momentary confusion that's when he saw the very amused smirk and a spark of triumphant in those eyes he had come to known so well over the years.

"Problem there, Batsy?," Joker spoke with a purr. "Oh, silly me, did I fail to mention I coated my suit coat with a very powerful 'stickum?' No? Well, I did." A punch to Batman's temple was hard enough to give his vision a blur. It took the Dark Knight too long to notice when purple gloved fingers wrapped around his throats and cut off his windpipe.

Batman had to think quickly as he slammed Joker again and again into the wall to try and loosen his grip that was unyielding. Had it been any other perp, then his plan would have worked, but Joker was one known for a high pain tolerance. Going so far as to enjoy every moment. The laughter was getting louder and Batman could hear words but he couldn't focus his mind long enough to pay attention.

"Can't breathe there, Bat? Don't worry strangulation to death doesn't take that long. I would know after all. Done it countless times for my crowd. I'm a natural at it. You can even say you're in good hands! _Hehe-haha_."

Batman could feel his lungs burning as they craved desperately for the precious oxygen that was being denied to them. Black spots filled his vision and he could feel his blood pumping in his temples. He wondered, then, if at long last that the Clown Prince of Crime and Gotham's number one enemy had finally bested him at their game. If the victory that Batman had always accomplished in his struggles to make Gotham a safer place would go to the Joker this time. Each second of the lack of air felt agonizing as he could only think of a Gotham that no longer had him to protect it. The innocents being harmed in his absence. The GCPD was not enough to bring the villains this city had created down on their own. A city that had taken away the eight year old boy's parents when there was no one to prevent it. Like many nights before, now he wondered if the last thing he would see is that grinning jester. As his body was losing against his mind's will he remembered his fight earlier in the night with the henchman on his back trying to choke the life out of him as Joker was doing now. With even more desperation, he flung his body backwards taking a startled clown that was just as stuck to him with him.

Taking in a gulp of air as hands left his throat, now laid splayed by his head, he could feel his body coming alive again. Joker pushed himself up forward and both were silent for a moment. A fondly smile graced red stained lips on that chalk white face and a chuckle escaped the clown. Using one hand to stroke Batman's cheek, his fingers that not even a few seconds ago that tried to kill him were now delicate in their touch. It was such an odd change in behavior that Batman felt his body go stalk still.

"That's what I like to see, my clever Bat," Joker only smirked more but there was no murderous smile to be found anymore. "Not wanting our dance to end just yet, I see. I like that. I really do."

"You can't win, Joker."

A finger was placed on his lip to silence him and Joker tilted his head to the side as he looked at him. Batman couldn't place what the clown was thinking in that moment but he was sure he was going to find out whether he wanted to or not.

"That's true, at least for now anyways, can't have our fun end to soon. Life would be so very dull without you. You're stuck with me," He giggled and Batman could feel the vibrations against his chest. "Literally, you are right now, but you know what I'm getting at Caped Crusader, which gives me just the best idea."

"What are-" Batman didn't have enough time to finish that sentence as next thing he knew red lips were placing soft kisses to his own. Almost sheepish, like they weren't sure if this was even allowed or not. It wasn't but that didn't stop them from trying. First he had thought being stuck to Jokers attire had changed the entire routine he was used to but this was definitely the event that did. His stuck hands tried to push the clown's body up, but Joker only pushed back down with even more force. Purple gloves holding the sides of Batman's cowl to keep his head in place. When he continued his struggles against the invading mouth and body pressed way too closely to his own he had received a bite that left the taste of copper on his lip.

 _Must have been pay back for the split lip I gave him._

The kisses became more forceful as Joker seemed to get into more of a mood. Soft kisses switched between gentle to rough with bites in between. A tongue probed at his lips demanding entry and in that moment Batman knew that even though he had fallen into Joker's "stickum" trapped the clown had just now fallen into a trap of his own making. Giving a small smirk at his new plan, he kissed back even harder than the madman was. Joker's own lips seemed to stop momentarily in surprise that the Dark Knight was even responding to him and when he tried to pull back a little to ask what was sure to be an absurdity for the madman, Batman pulled his body closer. The "stickum" now working in his own favor over the clown's. Joker didn't protest anymore as their lips crashed against each other in a power play. Parting to allow their tongues entrance for each other. Battling for dominance as razor sharp playing cards and batarangs had done so previously. No one was around to witness two arch enemies making out and that gave Batman just enough fuel to fan the fire. A moan escaped from the clown's throat and much to his dismay that little sound did wonders to his body that he would rather die than ever reveal to any living soul. His teeth grazed against the others tongue and he left hard bites of his own on red stained lips. Cutting into the soft flesh of Joker's lips which only made the jester lose himself even more in the moment.

Batman knew he wasn't playing fair for what he had in store for the Clown Prince of Crime, but the man had instigated this first. Each second Joker became more unglued by the Bats talented kissing skills that only had been perfected because of Bruce Wayne's playboy persona was a step closer in the clown's defeat tonight. It was true that the clown had almost got the victory he had craved for years due to his coat's "stickum" substance trick, but Joker was too much of a self-indulgent creature and that was his downfall. Rolling their bodies over where Batman was now on top the clown didn't seem to care enough to realize that he had just lost his position of dominance. All of this was almost too easy and even if it was wrong for them to be doing this even the Dark Knight couldn't prevent himself from getting a sense of pleasure from his all. With their new position Joker wrapped his arms around Batman's back, his fingers gripping onto the cape.

Batman broke the kiss and turned his attention to the clown's neck before Joker could get a word in. Biting and sucking, leaving marks where ever his lips would touch. He didn't need to go that far as he had already gotten them into the position he needed them in, but with the way the Joker's body was reacting he couldn't bring himself to end their new game just yet. It was a new game for them, a match they had never played before and was sure to have consequences latter. Now, though, he was taking the Joker's usual advice for him and letting go just for one night. He could allow himself that, couldn't he?

"Batsy," Joker gasped out breathily which almost completely broke the trance Batman was in. Growling in response he delivered a bite that tore the pale skin on the clown's neck. "If I knew this is how tonight would end up, I'd have done this years ago."

"Don't talk." He warned.

Licking the wound on Joker's neck, he almost lost himself to his own pleasure as much as Joker was now. All of his actions were just meant to unhinge the Joker long enough to give him the advantage to get free. He could feel the clowns own writhing underneath him and he knew that he would have to show his hand. The Caped Crusader still had a job to do and like Joker said earlier the night was still young. A part of him regretted what he was about to do but Gotham City needed a hero and heroes didn't waste the night away in a make out session with their most hated enemy. Pulling back he allowed a photographic memory of Joker's flushed face to be memorized. Bite marks that would no doubt would bruise into ugly marks on such white skin. Joker would probably cherish them in secret as long as they stayed for giving up that tidbit of information wouldn't be worth it no matter how amusing it was. No, this would be their secret and their night.

"Joker." His voice was deep and he wouldn't admit it but was sure Joker could hear the lust laced with the one word. Green eyes were glazed over with lust of his own which only confirmed to Batman that he was making the right decision in ending tonight's activities.

"I thought you said no talking. Be consistent Dark- _oof_!"

Joker groaned in annoyance and pain as Batman bashed his head right into the clown's forehead. It was hard enough that he felt the body go still underneath him as he knocked the Clown Prince of Crime unconscious. Joker would have probably found the irony of his "stickum" plan back firing on him as it did. Perhaps not as he did get a change in Batman's routine. He was sure he'd find out how the Ace of Knaves felt about this the next time he was free from Arkham. His hands were still stuck, but now getting the Joker out of his over coat would be a much simpler task now that he didn't have the trouble of a murderous clown to deal with.


End file.
